In one well-publicized case, a father in Michigan objected to child support payments when his ex-partner gave birth after knowing he did not want children. Roll these words off your tongue: Child support unfairness. My sons mom agreed that this amount was absurd and that the back pay (arrears) was ridiculous and stated she would clear it up. Regardless of whether you live in Manhattan or Nassau, Suffolk, Queens, Westchester or Brooklyn counties, New York fathers often fight an uphill battle when it comes to child custody issues. And she used a good chunk of the money for a horse riding fetish (where was my college fund or money for school activities l)? This went against the court order. Especially if the exs make considerably more money than they do? There are no soup kitchens around here. Because child support should be a joint effort. Be independent or move on just like any couple whats the point in getting angry at a person who you already know is going to disappoint you. funny thats what Ive said for 16 years!but Im the woman who pays, I lost the house all 6 cars (truthfully it was evenly 3 his 3 mine) and 4 busineses, my accounts were ceased and several professional lawsuits and tax suits were filed following the big D, because of a prick x, whom I put thru college. When my ex physically punched me several times in the back of the head while 6 months pregnant, what police officer would believe me. Guys have went to jail for owing $1500. Oh, and if dad fails to pay, there is the Federal Office of Child Support Enforcement (OCSE). From reading your comments it sounds like you are having a problem separating your feelings about your ex from your feelings about him as a father. I know many women will not agree with what I have to say, but its what I think. As long as he is involved in there lives thats all that matters. Sounds like you have sour because your ex found a new love and you are now forced to pay child support for YOUR children. When both the child's mother and presumed father agree on who the child's father is, paternity can be established voluntarily. And noted so when the dads want more time, it should be awarded. She had her out of town with her new boyfriend before the divorce was final. While my husband works his butt off and pays over 1,224.00 a month for 2 children while the mothers are not required to work . When you have kids you cannot afford, or when you cannot afford to give them the life that . It is the responsibility of BOTH parents to make sure theyre kids are taken care of!!!!! If they didnt want the above, they would have listened to Karen DeCrow. Anyway, when we finally did break up, I had received a notice, claiming that I owe 16,000 in back pay. My oldest son gets 54% of my income and my other two children and myself get 46%. You dont own them. Look outside the little bubble of your life and understand that people that have less in life still have children and bad things happen to people. 100% agree! I wouldnt force someone to pay me if they couldnt afford it or didnt want to. There are support for the divorce side which wasnt helpful for my case. He was threatening, abusive, pulled guns on me. Now I regret not making police reports or reporting her. Sounds fair to me but in the one sided battle it aint gonna happen! Its going over the top to accommodate non- custodial parents for no other reason than they are biologically linked to a child. Im not understanding why the woman should be the one who needs to think twice? document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); THIS IS AN ATTORNEY ADVERTISEMENT. What if the husband doesnt want a divorce but is forced into it anyway? My ex should be responsible 100% to support their own household. This is a trap question. When they arent, they want and/or need financial help raising their child(ren) because often they have stayed home to raise them, and that was the agreement/understanding during the marriage. There are both good scenarios and bad. Instead at 33 years old with an 8 year old child, she chooses to live at home and work a job in a doctors office full time making $30k per year lol!! Aso for child support it is nothing more than stealth alimony that is why the awards are so high. "Unofficial" Dads. Thank GOD, OMalley is out and Hogan is in!!! Oh hell no that doesnt go with me. I work full time and receive a $250-300 check every 2 weeks. The problem is that 50/50 is not the default and men have to bankrupt themselves in the hope of obtaining custody of their own children! You are not entitled to them. The State calculator yielded a "Fair child support figure of $450.00 that Bob was to pay. She split up our family with 5 young kids and tried to bankrupt me in the process. The current system does help in some instances but in this one i believe it created greed. its four times more deadly for a man then. Make sure you get a decent lawyer because shes a woman and automatically has the law on her side. I was paying $436 a month for child support. My goal is to raise a well rounded emotionally stable child peace, Child support is on top of child supportso dads in sd pay their child support and also half of daycareforces dads into poverty, I would like to see receipts for expenses for children through child support services, so child support is paying for moms drug or alcohol habits. . You see, most opposing attorneys will run your credit score to asssess how juicy a target you are in order to get sued and your ability to pay, prior to compiling that 600 page compliant in court against you. Then I got supervisor rights. The scam has been enhanced by the payment of incentives by the federal child support collection office to each states collection agency. If it is 50/50 or split depending on your state law and her income you MIGHT havre to help her otherwise. Many continued blessings. It was one year after I divorced before I finally let my child meet my love. In total does about $125000 a year now , who knows if is more. Saying she owe her friend payments of 125 a week for watching my daughter. Even though I won in court I lost in the end but what keeps me going is knowing this cant last forever. I highly disagree with 50/50 custody. Thats when my nightmare began.Ive received 30 days incarceration, had to pay child support plus 100% of all their financial needs. Rose you really are making it sounds so like you created the child alone. All it takes is a little bit of common sense to see that the system is extremely unrealistic and completely favors the Custodial Parent. EveryoneNOW THIS IS A MONEY HUNGRY WOMAN!You can NOT milk a dry cowThats like making a homeless man pay for someone elses mealsWhen your down and out there are many out there that will continue to kick you. I am willing to do whatever ever I can just dont know where to start.. Me email is zackson721@yahoo.com.. God bless and keep fighting for your kids, Im down too Jack! This bitterness you are harboring wont help your relationship with your ex one bit, thereby affecting the emotional well being of your children. Dead beat dad no. The system is ridiculous. The single parent has to pay for what the child needs despite what kind of time theyre going through. The father cannot get back on his feet when 33% of his income is automatically taken . They are both under the mistaken impression that custodial parents (NOT their children) are entitled to child support payments. Someone in charge needs to change the system. Deadbeat dads are not the norm at all nowadays. Here's what happened: My child support went from $1,113.00 per month plus health insurance of $225.00 to $243.00 a month in child support and she paid the health insurance. This senareo is more common than not. Many fathers just accept the notion that they are only entitled to 4 nights a month (every other weekend) with their children and don't realize they can get more time if they fight for it. I had all 3 of our kids full time and I worked full time. Especially in our justice system that preaches equal rights. That is all beside the point. I make $80k per year, take home $3,900 after health insurance and taxes. you will never pay it off. So now my fiance hasnt seen them in about 2 years, doesnt want the next lie to place him in jail and she makes about 50,000 a year while her husband makes 40,000, and my fiance makes about 30,000 a year. And parental alienation is against the law despite whether or not youve paid your child support. I know there are genuinely some men who want their children and are great fathers, and I applaud and support them in this battle. Im with you my wife cheated and im the bad guy?!? The current system DOES NOT incorporate the rights of the person who has to provide Child Support; more often than not, they say, Provide or youll be labeled a dead beat piece of shit, your wages will be garnished and youll likely be thrown out on the street because you have no money, but we dont give a shit. Shes getting 45% of your net. Your judgement obviously stinks! Every situation is different. 2. On the other hand, women can approach an office and they set the mothers up with face to face conversation and direct contact. I am so frustrated and upset that I really do not have any words for him. Do what is actually in the best interest of the child and not the state. Abortion pill whatever poses a health risk to the mother also. I too live in Illinois, and Ive had custody of my son and daughter since 2004. Things dont always go the way we want them to. the child support system is flawed in so many ways. He cant comment on your position just as you shouldnt comment on his. That becomes a very slippery slope for a lot of dads. So what happens when children hit school age and daycare is no longer needed? Also the my ex didnt let me see my son for the until now I havent seen him. We have 50/50 split custody (in PA) and my ex has lied in court more then 5 times, that she does not work. I dont think I asked for much. I for one am sick and damn tired of good fathers like myself who love my child dearly and see a women who lives and has custody know less about my child than I do. There r plenty of lazy, lying, no good moms out there too. So if your work schedule interferes, its okay to leave the kid at Moms until it works better for you, right? Family court and the laws r a joke and unfair. Not all of us men are the same. Sounds like they both made a mistake equally and theyre both paying for it equally. We may not be getting Ben and Jerrys, may need to cut the cable for a while, not get that new iPhone, etc. You make valid points. How do men fight this? I made all the mistakes. If she were sitting at home collecting welfare and not working, you would have an even bigger issue with that. As stated by someone above I am a money supplier and a babysitter. Laugh Maniacally. Best way I can describe him is he is/was a non-participating parent. Im sorry that your son is thrown into a multiple household situation that is only hurting him. Jobs are not a guarantee and neither is what you earn. The kids are the ones who suffer from this unjust law. I fought just to get my children every other weekend and week for week during the summer when they arent in school. I can agree with the law definitely not being perfect but from where I stand its all in favor of the other parent. CS and spousal supprt etc., is considered in your overall ability or inabilitty to pay your debts off and your financial burden. My step daughters are with me every other week 50 50. Lots of good dads like myself are being chastised, judged and criticized as if we are deadbeat fathers. For this state I can say that they attempt to work with both parents. On Tuesday, Republican lawmaker Mike Moon suggested he supported the rights of 12-year-olds to tie the knot during a debate about a bill he introduced that would ban gender-affirming care for the state's . So now in the rare event that he does call his kid its only to make false promises and to gloat about his trips with the new girlfriend to Las Vegas and how he just sued someone and won and got compensated for that. Even though I have no children, I got one anyways. You are not a subject. Which she occasionally changes without telling me. 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